Make Christ Your Whole Involvement

From my childhood days in Tobago, West Indies, I wanted to know God.  As far back as I could remember in my own little way, I tried to serve Him.  My mother left me with my grandmother, and went to Trinidad to search for employment, where my father had gone a few years earlier.  I missed her very much, and as a result, I was lonely most of the time.  I never had the love of a father and mother as most of my friends did, and I felt left out when they would talk about their parents and how much they meant to them.  This affected me greatly.  I gained most of my affection through friends so I stuck with them.

My grandmother was somewhat religious so she sent me to Church and Sunday School almost every Sunday even though she herself never went.  When I reached the age of about 10-12 years, I discontinued naturally.  I didn’t understand why I was going to Church anyway, because the folks involved were not really practicing Christianity.  I attended a Methodist School.  One morning our class had a religious studies class and they teacher lectured to us on the flood according to Genesis Chapter 7.  How people of the then known world were wicked and God was not pleased with their ways, so He destroyed them with a flood.  After the flood God saw that the earth was in such a mess that He promised He would not destroy the earth by water again but by fire.  He also taught us about God Himself and that we should forgive people who aught against us.  Those little lessons really did something for me.

From that time on, I would always remember that God will destroy the earth by fire, and them would somehow remind me that I must do the things that are right in the sight of God to escape His judgement.

Whenever I did something that was wrong, I would ask God to forgive me.  On one occasion, there were four Missionaries staying at our home.  On Sunday afternoons they would teach us from the Bible.  I cannot remember much now, but what I remember is one of the Hymns they taught us:  “There is a green hill far away without a city wall.”.

However, when I left school, the thoughts about God left me temporarily.  But whenever I did something that I felt was not right, they would come back to me.  Thoughts like, “why am I here?  who is God?  where am I going?”  would come to my mind.   This troubled me.  I was afraid to die.  Whenever someone died, I would be afraid.  I hated funerals and cemeteries.  As a matter of fact I kept away from anything dealing with death, even hospitals.  At nights I would be afraid to go to bed with the fear that I would die in my sleep.  My fear was overwhelming.

My sept-grandfather was a very strict man.  I was afraid of being flogged so I was obedient most of the times.  I was not allowed to mix too much with my age group in the neighborhood and as a result I kept out of trouble for a while.  But one day I was disobedient and I was thrown out of the house.  I stayed at my aunt’s home until trouble started again and I had to leave.

I was encouraged by my a friend to go to Trinidad.  It did not take me very long to get into the lifestyle, and before long I began to enjoy the seemingly attractive pleasures of sin.  That was the sort of life I was yearning for.  Now I had the opportunity.  I got a job, made new friends and began a life that I never thought I would ever experience.  I got involved in sexual immorality, drinking, parties, night clubbing, drugs etc.  you name it and I had it.  At a party one night, a friend offered me two tablets, which he said he got from South America.  These “Tabs” were supposed to get me high and happy.  The following day I was confined to Hospital suffering from food poisoning.  I ate sardines and probably it did not agree with the “tabs”.

When I had revived, I promised to call it quits with drugs, drinking and other habits.  I really wanted to rid myself from that sort of life but I was unable to do so.  I had no power to do it.  I can recall one night when I was so high that I almost fell over a bridge head on.  I did not hit the water because a friend close by held on to my ankle.  Another night I escaped being burned to death when a mattress on which I was sleeping caught fire because I went to bed smoking a cigarette.  

A few years before my conversion, I met a relative on the street and I asked him if he believed that God would judge the world again, and he said “no”.  He said that God had judged the world already in Noah’s time and He is not so wicked to do it again.  “When yuh dead yuh done.”, he said.  I felt relieved because the thought of God’s judgement was bothering me.  I met a friend who was of a popular religious cult.  My association with him revived my hunger for spiritual things.  He was a peddler of ganja;  for hours we would smoke and he would talk about God; sometimes I got scared.  On one occasion I was so troubled in spirit that when I went home that night I dreamt that we were on wither sides.  Suddenly, there was a great noise above, and before we knew it an airplane came crashing down and exploded into a large ball of fire, but yet the bushes were not consumed.  I drew their attention to it, but they could not see it.  After a short while the fire rose straight into the sky and then it descended upon my head, eventually separating me completely from the both of them, burning through my entire body but not consuming it.  I fell headlong into a deep bottomless pit and I began to cry for help.  When I realized that no one could help me, I began to repeat The Lord’s Prayer.  When I reached the part that says, “Thy Kingdom Come”, I felt as if a hand came from nowhere and lifted me up.  I awoke out of my sleep and I felt as if electric power was all over my body.

News reached the Head of the Department were I worked that I was a drug case, so I was transferred to an outside Department.  In that Department I men a young man who was a Christian.  One afternoon, he was speaking to a few guys about Christ, and from that moment I disliked him, because he said he never drank, smoked, or attended parties.  I thought that he was a sissy, so I kept out his reach.  He told one of the “fellas” that if Christ is not in a man, that man is dead.  I did not like that statement so I challenged him on the subject, even though he wasn’t speaking directly to me.  

I asked him, what would happen to the people who have never heard about Jesus Christ, if God would judge them also?  And he shook his head positively.  That statement got me real man and I said, “If God would judge people who have never heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ, He is a bad man, and I did not want anything to do with Him.  There was a picture on the wall with Mary and Jesus and I took it down and painted Jesus in black.  Then I should it to him.  I said “this is my God, a black god” for I was a supporter of Black Power.

A few days later, while reading the “herald of His Coming”, this was a religious newspaper which I found on the floor, apparently left there on purpose by this young Christian.  On this paper were testimonies and short sermons etc. I read a certain portion which said there there were over 2,000 tongues in the world today, who have never heard the Word of God.  Another portion read, “Pray without ceasing”1 Thessalonians 5:17.  Yet another portion said, “A pray less Christian is a powerless Christian and in order for anyone to live a life which would be pleasing to God, that person must make Christ his whole involvement”.    That portion blew my mind; for days those words would ring in my mind.  So I kept asking myself how can a man make Christ his whole involvement?  I tried to reason the thing out, but I got more mixed up and troubled.  I said to myself, “If I make Christ my whole involvement I would not be able to drink, smoke, or go to parties, and that was too much to give up, so I tried to fight off the thought.

The following day, the thought of reading the paper again came to my mind.  I took it up and started to read.  I read the same portion over again.  I came to the conclusion, that I was a Christian and that portion was not for me, because I went to a Christian school and Church when I was a young boy.  In addition, I was christened;  I was no heather.  I told myself that I was righteous in my way, but the Bible says that all our righteousness is like filthy rags before God.

About a week after all this happened, I went with the fellas to one of our secret dens for a ganja “smoke up”;  It was one of the best smokes I had ever had; it proved to be my last, however.  This happened on Thursday 25th September, 1969 around 11 a.m.  After smoking the stuff, we wen back to our various jobs.  On the way to my jog, I began to think about life, and what it’s all about.  I remembered when I was a little boy and the questions I used to ask myself about God:  “Who was He and How did I get here?”, “Where am I going?” Things I used to do and say flashed through my mind.  These thoughts were “blowing my mind.”  I replied to the thoughts by saying to myself, “God brought me here, but I don’t know much about Him, I would like to know Him”.  So I kept on meditating of God until I heard a voice within me say, “Make Christ your whole involvement, for if Christ is not in you, you are dead.”

I was always afraid to die, so I said in my heart, “God it You are God.  If you are what the Christians talk about; if You are what the Bible says You are, come into my life and make me different.  Immediately, as I sad that, I felt as though I was under a heavy load and someone had just taken it off.  I couldn’t understand what was taking place, but I know something was happening to me.  I went back to the Christian brother at work and had him prayed for me in the office.

After this experience, I felt as light as a feather, within me was a deep peace of satisfaction.  I did not want to think about anything that was evil or wicked anymore.  A few hours after work, as a habit I would go on the block to lime with the guys.  But that afternoon I did not have any such zeal.  I forced myself, but I was most uncomfortable.  The things they were saying and doing which I enjoyed just a day before, I could not longer enjoy.  So I remained quiet, which was strange, because I was the one who made the most noise previously.  

They realized that I was quiet and asked me what was the matter.  I told them that I was just cooling it.  They wanted to buy more ganja, but as the “ring leader”, I objected;  they forgot the idea and, instead, bought beers.  I tried to drink the one that was offered to me, but it did not taste like beer, so I left it on the table.  I took out a cigarette to smoke, but that too tasted like something else.  I threw it away.  The fellas wanted to know why I was acting that way.  I told them I felt sour, but I will be back on my feet again tomorrow.  We left the restaurant and decided to meet later on for a big “smoke up”.  I promised to be on the scene, but a voice within me said, “If you ever get mixed up in ganja again, a worse thing would happen to you.”  So I went home that afternoon and did not turn up at the session.

The following day the guys wanted to know why I did not turn up.  I told them that I got the message, and from now on I will be living a different life.  They laughed at me as I began to witness to them.  A few days later the talk went around that I was going crazy.  Some of my friends, who know me, said that I wasn’t crazy, but I was just trying a new thing; others said that I was going to Church because of some girl, and after a while I would give it up.

It is almost 55 years now since this has happened and I am growing deeper and deeper, serving Jesus.  My friends have deserted me, because of the stand I have taken in Christ.  But Hallelujah! He has not left me.  He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.  He said, “Him that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast him out”.  He promised not to leave me now forsake me.  He is with me always even unto the end of the world.  As a result of this new life in Christ many young people were saved, delivered from drugs.  I have come to realize that young people are looking for reality that’s why they get involved in drugs, sex and other social evils.  My desire is to reach them with the message of Jesus Christ.

My dear reader, do you want to get involved?  Do you want a meaningful life?  Then make Christ your Whole Involvement”.

Life Changing Testimony of Pastor Fitzroy Joseph.

Pastor Joseph, Th.M. is from Trinidad, West Indies who resides in the USA.  He is the Pastor of Destiny Worship Center, Plainfield New Jersey, USA for the past 20 years.  He holds a Masters degree in Theology from Eastern Bible Theological Seminary, Newark, New Jersey.

He has travelled to many countries during the past 15 years throughout Asia, Europe, Africa, North and South America and the Caribbean operating in the areas of evangelism and deliverance ministries.  Pastor Joseph is married and has four children who are professionals in the secular industry.  

He can be contacted at fitzroyfam6@gmail.com.